


New Year New Us?

by Long_Live_Clexa



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-10-09 06:12:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10405737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Long_Live_Clexa/pseuds/Long_Live_Clexa
Summary: Clarke and Lexa have been neighbors for the past 2 months and both are head over heels for the other but they have no idea how said other feels. Their conversations have mostly been timid "hey"s and "how was your day?" and the occasional 'I noticed you forgot X clothing item in the washer' which was often followed by an embarrassed Clarke once again shoving her Pokemon themed underwear in her pocket. They never really got past the whole shy neighbor phase until one fateful New Years night.





	1. The hero

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one shot at the moment but I am planning on making it into a series just have to find the time and the commitment. Any ideas for the fic are welcomed.  
> -Nos

A concussive noise sounds only a room away and a now panicked Lexa is rushing to the aid of a particularly attractive neighbor. Grabbing her favorite baseball bat she reaches for the door just in time to hear Clarke's raspy and inconsistent breaths attempting to alert anyone around, throwing it open with her good hand the brunette's eyes search the room for the cause of the commotion. A man dressed in black is in her neighbors apartment straddling the blonde and forcing her hands to the floor. Recklessly she barrels at the man shoulder tucked and knocks him off the blonde with all her might, quickly regaining her footing she stands scrambling to get Clarke to safety. They get to the door but the man is quickly closing the gap and is determined to keep this situation in his control Lexa, however is having none of that as she spins around baseball bat at the ready she takes a swing that nearly knocks the mans head clean off before screaming a rushed "Run" towards Clarke grabbing her hand and leading her neighbor to the safest place she can think of.

"Holy Shit" Clarke exasperatedly stutters fumbling over even the simplest of words. "you are a total badass." She rushes over to the brunette embracing her tightly without thinking what it might do to her currently overclocked brain. _Oh god she smells amazing_. the smell of pine infiltrating Clarke's senses is almost too much as she loosens her grip attempting to compose herself.

"Oh my fucking god" Lexa in shock of her own actions not to mention Clarke's proximity is now hysterically shouting and stringing together a list of obscenities miles long. "This is bad. Like really bad. OMG. Holy shit what was I thinking"

Lexa begins pacing back and forth whilst contemplating whether or not to contact authorities. _It was New years day after all. Would they even respond or just pass this off for another drunken prank call._

"Hey calm down. Just call the police and explain to them what happened as calmly as you can. Alright?" how she managed to even form that sentence was beyond the blonde but she was proud of her sudden awareness and she knew the adrenaline must have been kicking into overdrive.

"How are you so calm? I think I just killed a man, Clarke. Like what the actual fuck? WHY AREN'T YOU FREAKING OUT?"  
  
Seeing her chance she stepped back into the brunette's bubble placing her gentle hands steadily on Lexa's shoulders and staring directly into her eyes almost whispering her next words "Look. You are a hero. Just sit down and I'll take over from here. Ok?"

Lexa nodded apprehensively as she backed into the wall sliding into a near fetal position. Clarke now hovering over the shocked girl motioned for Lexa to scoot. She plopped herself phone in hand behind Lexa dragging the brunette flush against her front. She stiffened from the contact but Lexa soon melted into the embrace allowing Clarke to be her rock. Allowing herself to rely on someone else. To be at the mercy of someone other than her own thoughts. She could smell the raspberry shampoo her neighbor used and her mind was swirling now and Clarke could see the panic attack from a mile away.

"Hey. Lexa" the blonde grabs at Lexa's hand squeezing slightly." I need you to breath for me. You think you can do that?" Clarke is now slowly tracing patterns into the brunette's hand whilst coaxing Lexa down from her state of panic. "Breath and tell me about something. Tell me about how you got this tattoo. The armband."

Lexa's breathing evened out as she began speaking rushed and cracking at first but smoothing out to a calm and collected whisper by the end of it.

"Thank you" Lexa's timid nature returned and she was now aware of the burning redness on her cheeks. She was blushing from the closeness of Clarke and she couldn't handle it for much longer.

"Trust me when I say I know where you have been. My father died a few years ago and it was all my mother could do some nights." it all kinda tumbled out before she could catch herself. Why would she just share that with some perfect stranger? Maybe it was the fact that perfect very accurately described this "stranger"

"Uh. I. Uh... Im sorry." she sighed releasing a breath she only just realized she was holding.

"No. Im sorry for dumping that on you. I just. Ugh I don't even know. Im just. Im sorry." She was stumbling over her words attempting to clear her throat of the now fully formed lump of her heart attempting to throw itself out through her mouth.

"Hey. If you need to talk about it. Im here." The brunette turned with a look of sincerity as if asking Clarke 'Let it all out'

"I need to call 911" was all Clarke could choke out through the now persistent lump in her throat. She attempted to get up but Lexa held her in place with pleading eyes and a soft request of 'stay'

 

  
The authorities were there in less than twenty minutes and after tiring hours of questioning they realize Clarke's home is still a crime scene so Lexa offered her a place to stay for as long as her place remained under scrutiny. It was awkward for the first hour or so probably due to the fact that they were both letting the happenings of not too long ago run wild through their head. They were now sitting on Lexa's couch one on either end just staring at the blank television. It was Clarke who first broke the barrier of silence between the two.

 

"I just want to say Thank you again. Like you actually saved my life."

"Im not sure what came over me. I kinda just moved without thinking. Like I wasn't even in my own body just a catalyst. It was weird"

"Well whatever it was. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome."

"Pizza?"

"What?" Lexa looked quizzically at the blonde as if she were speaking jibberish.

"Do you want me to order pizza? Like for dinner?"

"oh. Uh. Ok." she stammers in a barely audible whisper.

"Cool. Well. We should also discuss the sleeping situation. Im fine with the couch I just need a blanket and a pillow."

"No no you take the bed. I normally sleep on the couch anyways." she blurts out the last part before she can even think about stopping herself.

"Really? Why?"

"Uhmm. Bad memories I guess." attempting to leave it at that she gets up to retrieve the spare bed stuff Clarke requested.  
"Oh" Clarke knew enough about painful memories not to pry and so she didn't. She simply watched the brunette round a corner and disappear.

After a minute or so of fumbling around Lexa gathered a blanket, sheet, two pillows, and a change of clothes for her neighbor. Coming back to the living room she was lost in thought and hadn't realized Clarke begin walking toward her. They collided and both had lost their footing. Clarke fell first but Lexa followed reluctantly her feet catching and twisting in the blanket that fell on impact. Lexa was now awkwardly straddling the blonde's right leg trying to get her bearings.

"At least buy me dinner first." Clarke managed to choke out after having the wind forcefully removed from her chest. This brought Lexa out of her daze long enough to figure out what just happened.

"I am so sorry." She was blushing and suddenly became fervently interested in her own hands. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, Its my fault. Im sorry."

"Shit happens." she shrugged and got to her feet whilst collecting the things Lexa had brought for her. "Oh. These are cute." Clarke now holding up a set of lace panties that had apparently become mixed in with the brunettes P.J. stash. "Not sure if Im ready for this kinda forwardness yet though."

Lexa looked up quizzically eye balling what the blonde was presenting. "Oh my god. How did those get in there. I. Ummm. You weren't meant to see those." She snatched the provocative underwear from the girl and ran off to her room without even acknowledging Clarke's statement. She came back after stowing away the panties and apologized once again for the mix up and asked the blonde to forget about the underwear.

"Sure thing. But just a quick question before I erase it from my memory?."

"Please just drop it. Its really embarrassing without even discussing it."

"But who were they for? Like who did you wear them for?"

"Clarke please." The brunette pleaded

"Fine" she huffed "But know that Im never letting you live this down."

"Ughhhhhh. Please don't be that immature." Lexa again pleading for the blonde to ease up on the situation.

"One condition. You tell me who they were for. Then maybe I won't hold it over your head."

"They weren't for anybody. They're just comfortable ok. God can we stop talking about it now?"

"Oh come on there wasn't a special guy in your life." Clarke emphasizing special with a sultry and provocative tone made the brunette audibly gulp.

"No" Lexa stated hesitantly not sure if she was willing to tell the blonde of her sexual orientation yet.

"Don't lie to me" she laughed not sure as to why Lexa was avoiding the fact that she had even been with someone before.

"Im not." Lexa stated somewhat harshly. Eyes narrowing at Clarke as if to say 'Drop it!' but Clarke kept prodding

"There had to have been someone that made you feel like you needed to show off to him."

"It wasn't a him!" Lexa snapped blurting the words before she could filter them from her mind. She was kicking herself internally for being so angry that she let her secret slip. Clarke's eyes meeting hers now widened with shock were also showing something else. Understanding? Sympathy?

"oh. Im. Im really sorry. I didn't know. I just kinda figured. I'll get a hotel for the night." The blonde began grabbing her things

"What because Im a lesbian? You're scared that Im gonna try and hit on you? Because Im not. OK. Im not some pervert." Lexa was furious and her eyes were showing it just as much as her words.

"No. I didn't mean it like that. I just. I didn't realize that you-" Before she could finish the sentence Lexa snapped again.

"I what?"

"I don't know. Its new to me. The whole homosexuality thing."

"Well its real ok. Don't just go around looking at other people's lives through your narrow minded glasses."

"That isn't what I meant."

"What?" Lexa was caught off guard. How did that statement flow in the argument? What did she misconstrue?

"That isn't what I meant by it being new to me."

"Oh. Clarke. I. I didn't realize. You wanna talk about it? Maybe? I know it was hard for me growing up but to figure out at this time in my life. I just can't imagine."

"Yea."

"I am really sorry." Lexa sighed. Not wanting to push the blonde into anything that would make her uncomfortable was hard to balance with the incessant need to get closer to her. "Please don't get a hotel room though. Just. you can sleep in my bed.

"Thanks for understanding. And for still allowing me to stay."

"Well you should get to sleep. I know how much your 10 hours means to you." Lexa casually joked whilst ushering Clarke into her bedroom.

"For your information I do not sleep for 10 hours a day! Hell I rarely sleep for 8 hours!"

"Yea. Yea. whatever you say blondie."

"Its true though. I get like 4 hours of sleep maybe a night!"

Lexa showed Clarke to her room and was sporting a smile that almost hurt.

{Lexus: Guess who is in my bed rn.}

{Anya: Why are u texting me that this time of night lex?}

{Lexus" Just guessssss. Please?}

{Anya: uhmm. No one. You have no game lex.}

{Lexus: Actually there is a particular blonde sleeping in my bed as we speak, er well text}

{Anya: Wait that ridiculously hot neighbor of your's is in your bed? And YOU are texting ME instead of getting some? WTF LEXA!!!!!}

{Lexus: Well to be fair Its really awkward. Like the only reason she is here is cuz some guy tried breaking in and doing god knows what to her, but I saved the day like the hero I am.}

By now Lexa was smiling at her screen and didn't notice the blonde begin walking up to her.

"What has you so happy?" Clarke spoke and Lexa mortified by how close the blonde was to her screen instantly locked and pocketed her phone.

"Just texting a friend. Uhmm why are you out here?" God there was something about Clarke wearing her clothes that made Lexa's little heart flutter.

"Oh. Well I couldn't sleep and your room is boring. Sooo. You have Netflix or something" The blonde question plopping herself down on the couch a little closer than Lexa felt was necessary.

"Well. No. I uhh I only watch documentaries really. The occasional Marvel movie." Lexa rubbed at the back of her neck showing off her bicep slightly and this garnered a bit of a response from Clarke though it went unnoticed by the brunette.

"Alright well you have a computer? I have an account. You can use it too if you want."

"Oh yea sure. I'll be right back." Lexa left for a few minutes and came back holding a silver laptop

"Its kinda small but... it shouldn't be too much of a problem for ya."

"What do you wanna watch first? I've been getting into this show about society after the apocalypse and-" she is cut off by Lexa timidly saying

"I was planning on going to sleep actually. Sorry."

"Oh. Ok. Well uhh Imma go back into your room I guess."

"Clarke." She reluctantly gave in to her guilt

"Yea?"

"Come back. But only a few episodes." 

"Really? Ok. Thank you so much!" 

Clarke boots up the laptop and logs in to Netflix. Once she has the show playing she cuddles into Lexa. Their heartbeats quicken at the closeness but neither one is trying to move.

They watch three episodes in relative silence and the brunette falls asleep a few minutes into the fourth. Clarke can't help herself when she sees how free and happy Lexa looks in her sleep she leans in and places a soft kiss to her temple and wills herself to Lexa's now empty bed.


	2. To Love is to Suffer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anya is here! Clarke and Lexa have a bit of a moment and questions arise about Lexa's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking about switching my style up and writing different parts of the story in specifically one person's perspective rather than a 3rd person sort of recounting of the goings on between our favorite couple. Tell me what think about the story so far and remember criticism is welcomed (: Thanks a bunch for the support and I hope y'all have a wonderful day <3  
> -Nos

 

Lexa was a bit surprised to be pulled from her slumber by the scent of blueberry pancakes and for a split second was wondering if her sister had let herself in before remembering the events of last night. Yawning she got to her feet and decided to take a shower. The blonde in the kitchen noticed Lexa stirring and was glad to see a smile on her face. She made her way to the living room to

"Hey there sleepy head. I hope you don't mind I'm making breakfast but I just figured it was the least I could do after you practically saved my life." Clarke's awkward attempt at a hug went awry when the spoon she was stirring batter with somehow made contact with Lexa's head.

"Oh shit! Lex I am so sorry. I didn't mean to." Clarke's cheeks were a shade of red Lexa could only describe as tomato and she thought it was the cutest thing ever.

"Hey, don't worry about it. I was planning on taking a shower right now anyways. No harm no foul Clarke." Lexa shrugged attempting to console the now flustered blonde.

"I'm not normally this klutzy. I'm really sorry" At this Lexa was sporting a sly grin.

"So are you only like this around hot brunettes? Or is it my heroism?" Lexa's grin was only growing at the reappearance of the blush in Clarke's cheeks.

"Uh-" Lexa cut her off shit eating grin still plastered across her face

"Speechless I see. I'll take it as both." And with that she was already halfway across the apartment and preparing for her shower.

Clarke still a bit stunned decided it was best to go back to making pancakes but she couldn't help but make a mental note of the flirting. Maybe Lexa did have feelings for her after all.

After a quick shower Lexa came out in a simple t-shirt and some basketball shorts and when she didn't see her new favorite blonde in the living room she figured Clarke was still in the kitchen. Upon arriving in the kitchen she found Clarke looking at her phone intently tapping away at the device so the brunette decided a little scare was in order. She sneaked as quietly as she could around to the other entrance to the kitchen and crouched behind the blonde.

"HI CLARKE!!!" Lexa screamed in Clarke's ear making her jump a good foot in the air and land on her feet looking quite frightened.

"What the fuck Lexa you scared the shit outta me. God you're gonna give me a heart attack." Clarke now holding her hand over her heart was looking rather displeased at Lexa who was rolling on the ground laughing at her own prank. "Ha Ha. Very funny. Get up or you don't get any of my pancakes you little shit."

"Ouch. That's a low blow princess." Lexa smirked at the blonde's smile that seemed to arise from her nickname. "Sooo. What do you have planned for today? Other than mooching of my internet" the brunette knew that her neighbor had at least two jobs. Over the few months they had lived across the hall she had been able to piece together that the blonde was an artist and that she was living off whatever income she could find. One week she remembered seeing Clarke in about 3 different uniforms for local restaurants.

"You invited me so I wouldn't call it mooching and I was thinking about going to see a few friends since I have today off. How about you?" Clarke explained whilst handing Lexa a plate of blueberry pancakes and sausage.

"Uhmm" Lexa took the first bite and she swore it was heaven. A small moan was building in the back of her throat and in attempts to push it down she coughed. "Man these are amazing. Like really." _She can cook too?_

If the blush forming on her cheeks was any indicator Clarke definitely heard the noise Lexa tried hiding. "Well thanks. I learned to cook a bit when my dad was still alive." The blonde was spacing out a bit allowing the memories to once again imprint themselves on her mind. Lexa noticed the sudden melancholy and wanted for Clarke to never have to feel sad again so doing the only thing she thought right in this situation she hugged the blonde. Strong arms now enveloping her eased Clarke's mind and brought her back to the present. She had to admit, this was something she could get used to.

"Thank you." Simple. Sincere. To the point. "I. I just want you to know that I really appreciate everything you have done for me in the past few days. Even if it was all kinda spur of the moment." Clarke was now hugging Lexa back and trying with all her might to somehow express all the thoughts she dare not speak with the simple gesture.

"It was really nothing. I mean any decent person would do the same."

"Yea. I guess, but that doesn't make it any less thoughtful." Clarke shrugged and had a bit of a light bulb moment. Smiling profusely she began "I know. I'll paint you something."

"Only if you allow me to pay for it."

"What?! That ruins the whole premise of a gift."

"Yea, but I know how hard you work to make ends meet Clarke. I cant just accept a gift that you could be making money from."

"But what if I wanted to do it for free?"

Lexa had to admit Clarke was rather persistent if nothing else. And to top it off Lexa's resolve was not what it used to be especially when it comes to a particular pretty blonde.

"Fine. But only on one condition. You accept a commission from a friend of mine."

"Sounds like a better deal for me than you to be honest."

"Well yea that is kind of the point."

"I just don't want to live off of handouts. I'd feel dirty living off of someone else's generosity. Like I didn't deserve it you know?"

"You're amazing Clarke." She isn't quite sure why she says it aloud but Lexa knows it's the truth. She can't help but being drawn into the alluring abyss of deep cerulean. Both breathing in each other allowing the moment to be savored. They are pulled from their embrace by a series of loud knocks. Sheepishly Lexa rushes to answer the door. To Lexa's surprise it was Anya.

Lexa: "What are you doing here?"

Anya: "What the hell Lex I thought you were dead. You were texting me one minute then just stopped randomly."

Lexa:"Yea sorry about that I-" Clarke walked into the living room catching anya off guard. 

Anya: "Clarke?"  _Clarke's the blonde Lexa has been going on and on about?_

Clarke: "Anya? How do you know Lex?"

Lexa: "Wait you two know each other?"

Anya: "Yea. She used to go to school with raven."

Clarke: "What a coincidence. I was actually planning on going to see you guys today. How's Rae coping with the accident."

Anya: "Its still a bit of a touchy subject. She almost lost her leg and I don't think shes quite accepted that yet."

Clarke: "I'm glad she has you An."

Anya: "I just hope she knows I'm there for her you know?"

Lexa: "Well now that you know I'm alive I guess you'll be going."  
  
Anya looks at Lexa offended that she doesn't want her around. IT dawns on Anya that she must've interrupted the two and she was beginning to feel the sexual tension in the air.

"Yea. I should get going. Just wanted to stop by and make sure you weren't dead. Clarke you're cool to come over whenever."

Lexa was quick to usher Anya out the door. Saying her good byes and hoping her friend didn't find an excuse to stay. She didn't. The brunette closed the door locking it and turning to face Clarke. Green met blue and in an instant there was a flame growing between the two that could only be extinguished by contact. They came together much like the ocean meets the shore, excited waves of emotion crashing across the sturdy earth of a worn coast. The embrace was heated and passionate and was shaking Lexa to the very core. She knew she had feelings for the blonde but now she knew it went deeper than that. Dare she say she had fallen in love. As much as they would have loved to continue this they both knew that oxygen was a necessity.

"That was. Whew!" Lexa began, staring into Clarke's lust blown pupils, the blonde finishing her sentence as if she were reading her mind.

"Amazing!" She breathed out relaxing into her position atop Lexa. She leaned in for another kiss this time, more reserved, methodically exploring each other when Lexa broke the kiss lost in Clarke's sapphire eyes that seemed to be pleading for more.

"As much as I'd love to, uhmm, well you know. If were gonna do this right I wanna take it slow." Lexa rubbed the back of her neck as she felt the blush forming in her cheeks.

"I wanna do this right." Their eyes were locked in a battle of wills daring the other's gaze to falter. Lexa submitted. Her eyes dipping down to Clarke's lips for a split second and returning to see those vivid blue lustful orbs. It was too much for the brunette. She couldn't handle what this blonde was capable of doing to her. It brought up memories of a past she only ever wanted to forget. A past that ate at her soul day by day. Making her weaker by the minute.

"Clarke. I need this to be a promise. This can't just be some lesbian one off or some trial period. I can't have a repeat of my last relationship" Lexa could almost feel the hurt in Clarke's eyes and the brunette knew she screwed up. She knew one thing for sure and that was that she never wanted to be the source of Clarke's pain. The thought alone hurt too much for words to express.

"Hey. I'm sorry. I just. Look Clarke, like I said... my last relationship didn't end well. I want you to understand where I'm coming from. Her name was Costia. She was the type of person that could light up a room just by being in it. It was almost unbearable at times. I loved her very much. She was my everything, my world, I thought she was the one. A few days after our 1 year anniversary she told me she had cheated and when she told me why and who it was with... I lost it. I told her I never wanted to see her again. I forced her out of my apartment. I." At this point Lexa was coughing in attempt to hold back the tears and it only makes it worse. _Why?! Why can't I just let her go. Why does she still have this effect on me._

"Lex. Hey look at me. Its gonna be alright." Clarke's embrace softened the edge but Lexa was in a state of hysteria and all she could do was hold her tightly and ride out the storm. The incessant need to comfort Lexa came naturally to the blonde. It was a double edge sword of sorts. On one hand she knew it meant being close to her but she knew it also came with lots of hurt in her heart when she saw Lexa like this. The two stayed like this on the living room floor for what seemed like hours. The sun slowly dipping under the horizon signifying the end of another day. Lexa calmed and eventually they both fell asleep. Clarke woke a few hours later and pulled Lexa on to the couch with her. Whatever she was dreaming about must have been good because she was smiling almost ear to ear. She looked young and carefree and just... happy.Clarke vowed to protect Lexa from the world if she had to. She would do anything to keep that smile on her face. If only she knew that Lexa was dreaming about her.

 


	3. The end? Maybe.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well long time no see I guess. Sorry about the extreme lack of updates just some things came up and once i got back to working on this fic I realized that I didn't know where I wanted it to go. Sorry to say, but I think I'm gonna place this fic on a bit of an indefinite ending here and start on something I've been wanting to write for a few months now. Again sorry for not updating and giving no reason to it. Love y'all and wish you the best.

The morning sun was sneaking its way into Lexa's apartment alerting it's occupants of the new day. Clarke was the first to get up, though due to their proximity Lexa followed soon after. Lexa was reluctant to move from the warmth that Clarke produced and when she had to get up and leave for work Lexa was left pining for the now familiar embrace that accompanied golden blonde hair and vibrant blue eyes. 

Getting back into her daily routine was hard for the blonde due to the fact that Lexa was the only thing on her mind. Even as she was taking down orders from the family in front of her she could only think about how Lexa's lips felt on her own, and how sleeping on the small couch with the brunette was more comforable then her own bed. She wasn't quite sure yet that it was love , but if this wasn't love what was? Maybe she would express this thought to Lexa in an attempt to show the brunette her feelings were true, but maybe it was too early for that.

It was her last class of the day and Lexa was in a similar prediciment as Clarke. Her mind seemed to have room only for blonde curls and the most breathtaking blue eyes on the planet. She knew that concentrating on the words coming from her proffessor's mouth would be a herculean task and her willpower had taken a hit since the day Clarke walked into her life.

 

_Lexa was just getting back from her evening class when she saw what she could only describe as oceans peering directly into her soul. It was a gorgeous blonde and she seemed to be struggling to get all her boxes into the apartment in one trip. Being the generous person she was, Lexa decided to offer some help._

_"Hey. Let me get that for ya."_

_"Oh. Thanks. I'm Clarke by the way." The blonde who she now knew as Clarke extended her hand losing her grip on the box she was currently holding sending it tumbling to the floor. "I totally meant to do that. Definitely wasn't an accident" The blush rising in Clarke's cheeks was enough to make Lexa swoon._

_"I'm Lexa. Nice to meet you Clarke." Lexa picked up the boxes and took them inside her new neighbors apartment putting them just inside the door._

_"Well that is the last of them.Thanks for the help. Maybe we'll see each other around yea?"_

_"Well I do live just across the hall so yea. We will definitely see each other around."_

_"Well I should probably get started unpacking. See you later Lexa."_

Lexa laughed at the memory. "She has always been a klutz hasn't she?" she thought to herself. The lecture was over a few minutes later and Lexa was in a rush to get back to her apartment to see those blonde curls that her mind seemed tangled in for the past 3 days. The thought of making a new life after Costia had crossed her mind a few times before Clarke, but never had the feeling been so strong. Maybe she was in love again but who knows? 

Clarke had gotten the news that her apartment was no longer a crime scene and that she could return to living in it about an hour before Lexa got back from her classes. She was excited to get back into the swing of things but she would definitely miss the brunette's tender embrace and the way that their bodies fit seamlessly together. Maybe she would stay just one more night. Maybe more.

Clarke could hear Lexa's footsteps making their way to her apartment and decided that she would meet her halfway. Dismissing her possible need for shoes she opened the door to Lexa's apartment and was face to face with her new favorite person.

"Hey" Clarke met Lexa with a hug and a small peck on the cheek.

"Hello beautiful." Clarke could feel the butterflies going crazy in her stomach. Lexa had just called her beautiful and there was something about that word falling from those lips that made Clarke feel on top of the world.The two stood locked in embrace enjoying each other's company until Clarke spoke up again.

"So my apartment is cleared now."

"That's good." 

"I guess." she shrugged.

Lexa was perplexed by the response and her facial expression must have conveyed this completely. Clarke's cheeks redenned and she stumbled over her words slightly.

"Uhm. What I meant is that uhmm well I really enjoyed the few days I was able to spend with you and well its gonna be a little hard going back to sleeping alone. You know?"

"We live right across the hall Clarke. One of us could literally walk two steps and be at the other's door."

"I know but it just feels like I have been living in a dream for the past few days and now reality came crashing back down around me. I wish we didn't have any responsibilities. Nothing to keep us from spending all of our time together."

"I know Clarke. I feel the same way." This confirmation seemed to put Clarke at ease.

"We should probably go inside."

"Yea." Clarke was reluctant for the embrace to end but she eventually complied and went inside.

Walking into the apartment caused a strong case of Deja Vu for Lexa. Blonde curls illuminated by a setting sun. A smile that pulled on her heartstrings. She never thought she would feel like this ever again.

"I have a lot of homework to do." Lexa sighed resigning herself to the fact that, as much as she really did want to she couldn't just drop all her responsibilities and waste away her days cuddled up with Clarke.

"Oh. Ok. I'll get outta your hair then."

"What?" She knew her tone could be a bit off-putting sometimes but she definitely didn't want the blonde to leave. "No. Don't leave."

"Ok. I just figured you would want to concentrate."

"Well I mean yea, but of all the distractions in the world you're the only one I enjoy." Clarke's bright smile had returned and the brunette gave herself a mental pat on the back for willing it out of the blonde.

"So what are you studying exactly?"

"Business. I'm supposed to take over my father's company once I have made something of myself." Lexa could hear the sincere interest in Clarke's words but her response was forced and scripted. She just couldn't bring herself to be excited about anything to do with her father. Not after everything he had done. Becoming the head of her father's company would only add salt to the wound.

"You seem a bit disinterested in it. Did your parents force you into it? I personally was forced into med school by my mother. My father passed before I could graduate. After that I just couldn't keep my grades up. I fell behind in all my classes and I would just stay at home painting. It was the only time I ever felt whole after he died." Maybe she was a bit too forthcoming but Lexa deserved to feel like she wasn't alone. More than that really. In Clarke's opinion Lexa deserved to feel as happy and free as she looked when she was asleep. Clarke didn't even realize she was crying until Lexa had raised her hand to wipe away the tears. It was gentle and full of more love than the blonde had felt in years. This simple touch seemed to fill a void left by the passing of her father and the subsequent hitch in her relationship with her mother and many of her old friends.

"I'm here for you Clarke. I always will be." 

"I know." Clarke paused for a second clearing her throat and trying not to let her voice crack too much. "Lex. I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. I can see how much bringing up your father bothers you."

"Not much to talk about really. He was never there for me when I was a child. He practically disowned me when I came out to him. All the memories I have of him are poor attempts to buy my love and empty threats of conversion therapy."

"That's awful Lex." Lexa was withdrawing and Clarke knew what that meant. The soft skin of Clarke's palm pressed flat against Lexa's cheek was enough to keep her grounded but these tears had been waiting for years just at the back of Lexa's eyes to be released. There was no point fighting it so the brunette let go everything she had been bottling up about her father for the 22 years she had been alive.  
"Hey. Shhhh. Its gonna be alright Lex. I'm here for you." Clarke was rubbing small circles into Lexa's back coaxing the tears to continue as long as they needed to. This lasted for almost 40 minutes and the pair sat in silence for another hour or so after that.

Lexa spoke up."Thank you Clarke. I'm sorry that you have to see this side of me, bu-" she was interrupted by the blonde.

"Lex. This is what being in love is about." Whoops. Clarke didn't know why she said it, nor could she understand why nothing else would come out but Lexa simply hugged the blonde harder. Finally regaining her ability to speak Clarke continued. "It's not just rainbows and sunshine Lex. You and I have flaws... scars take time to heal wether they are physical or not, but I'm in love with you and I'm fairly confident that you feel the same. That is all that matters now." She finally said it out loud and the simple fact that Lexa hadn't run away or just exploded was conformation enough for the blonde that Lexa felt the same.

"I love you too." Lexa was hesitant to use THAT word after Costia but she also knew that Clarke was right. She was definitely in love with Clarke Griffin.

"You should probably start that homework of your's." At this Lexa let a wet chuckle leave her throat.

"Yea. Probably."

Lexa dove right in to studying her notes and she was pleased that it took only 2 hours to complete her daily assignments, even if Clarke was a bit distracting at times. In all honestly Lexa was glad the blonde was there to distract her from time to time.

"So. What's next?" Lexa turned to answer her but before she could get words out Clarke leaned forward pressing her lips against the brunette's garnering a deep moan from her efforts. The blonde was eager to explore and so she did. Her lips moved from Lexa's and traveled down to the girl's jawline and eventually to her pulse point. Nipping and soothing all the way down and pulling the moans from her partners throat.

"Clarke!" Her breathing was labored from excitement.

"Yea?" The sudden yelp made the blonde panic a bit. "Is this okay?"

"More than. Please don't stop."

Without hesitating Clarke's mouth went back to work on the brunette's body this time traveling even further down. Slowly making her way to Lexa's chest Clarke was interrupted by her ringtone.

"Ughhh. The universe has to be fucking with us."

"Uhmm you should pick up it's Octavia." "Wow she hasn't called me in a while." Answering the phone Clarke was caught off guard by a deep muffled sob." O. What's wrong!?" "I-It's Lincoln, Clarke. O. She's been in an accident." "Is... is she OK?" Clarke's face was hard to read but Lexa knew just by the tone of the blonde's that something was seriously wrong. "She is in surgery now. I just. She wanted you to know that... that she still cares for you. She wanted me to tell you that she understands why you went rogue." "What hospital?" "Arkadia General. She still has a few more hours of surgery." "I'll be there as soon as possible." drawing in one last shaky breath she added. "And Lincoln, stay in there."


End file.
